Silently Heartbroken...the first of many?!

As Rachel is approaching her terrible twos, she's getting cheekier (in a cute way) and also naughtier (in a "mummy-gonna-tear-out-mummy's-hair" way).....

Before yesterday, she will CRY immediately and come HUG me and get me to carry her and "sayang" her when I raise my voice or when I TRY to discipline her.

But yesterday was a big eye-opener for me....to see how stubborn my daughter can be....and will be.....

We were driving home from MIL's and she was sitting in her car seat in the passenger seat next to me. Rachel saw a cheque envelope next to her, which I was supposed to deposit to pay the house loan.....picked it up, and started tearing it!!!!! I had no idea why, as this action is totally new from her!!!!

I raised my voice and told her to stop it. Snatched the envelop out of her hand, and started reprimanding her... Instead of crying or feeling sorry....she just averted her face away, looking at the window, and ignored me!!!!!! (I was ANGRY and HEARTBROKEN.....all at the same time!!!)

Then, after a while, I reprimanded her again, whilst driving....demanding that she say sorry to me... again...she just ignored me and looked away!!!!

By this time, I was FUMING MAD!!!!! Not because of the envelope, but because of her response!! She's barely TWO!!!!!

The moment I stopped the car in the house, I turned to her....and demanded that she look at me...and again, I raised my voice...within two seconds, the floodgates started....She cried, lift up her arms......and cried and cried and cried....I calmed down a bit, and continued talking to her in a "to-discipline" voice.....

With her head on my shoulders in a manja way...and she kept on patting my back (it's her way of soothing herself):

Mummy: Rachel, you cannot take other people's things and tear it....understand?

Rachel : *Sobbing loudly*....tand (saying she understands)

Mummy: Rachel cannot be so stubborn, ok?

Rachel : *Sobbing loudly*......k (saying OK)

Rachel, when you are old enough to ready this, understand that you are our angel, and when you act like this, a piece of Mummy's heart gets teared out just like that.....