To bully or not to bully.....what to teach your child
Kids around Rachel's age start to develop their own attitudes, behaviour, wants, don't-wants, demeanor, etc.... At school, they start picking up good habits, bad habits and their speaking manner change accordingly as well... As hubby said...our worries only start the moment they are born... and will go on even after they are married with kids...
My dilemma today....
Rachel has this friend who lives in the same compound. She is of the same age. And they like playing together. However, this girl is a wee bit more rough compared to Rachel. She shouts and screams at people. Kicks up a fuss when she does not get what she wants, and she has even resorted to pushing people around, even the bigger kids in the compound.
Rachel so far will either whine or cry when she is bullied. And after a few notes from me, Rachel has resorted to walking away when her friend bullies her. Well, that was what I told her to do. I told Rachel that she does not have to do what she does not want to do. And at the same time, she can just walk away. However, I told Rachel that it's not nice to bully or scream or push people around....
This morning, when a group of us (minus her friend's mother) was hanging out while the kids play, Rachel's friend started pushing Rachel to the ground. Rachel just walked away. A mother of 2 girls came to me and suggested that I teach Rachel to push back.... I was pretty shocked... But then, what she said did make some sense. After all, we want Rachel to stand up for herself, if she is pushed around too much... Does it make sense??? But at the same time, our upbringing is such that we maintain humility and avoid trouble.....
I called hubby....obviously he is not too happy that we are discussing this during his office hours....so...will have to bug him about this when he's home....hahahahaha....
To bully or not to bully...
Ironically, at work, I am the sort who can't be bullied....(am sure some of you who knows me well will be sniggering and nodding your head as you read this....)
Again.....the question is....what do I teach my child...to bully, or not to bully?????
My dilemma today....
Rachel has this friend who lives in the same compound. She is of the same age. And they like playing together. However, this girl is a wee bit more rough compared to Rachel. She shouts and screams at people. Kicks up a fuss when she does not get what she wants, and she has even resorted to pushing people around, even the bigger kids in the compound.
Rachel so far will either whine or cry when she is bullied. And after a few notes from me, Rachel has resorted to walking away when her friend bullies her. Well, that was what I told her to do. I told Rachel that she does not have to do what she does not want to do. And at the same time, she can just walk away. However, I told Rachel that it's not nice to bully or scream or push people around....
This morning, when a group of us (minus her friend's mother) was hanging out while the kids play, Rachel's friend started pushing Rachel to the ground. Rachel just walked away. A mother of 2 girls came to me and suggested that I teach Rachel to push back.... I was pretty shocked... But then, what she said did make some sense. After all, we want Rachel to stand up for herself, if she is pushed around too much... Does it make sense??? But at the same time, our upbringing is such that we maintain humility and avoid trouble.....
I called hubby....obviously he is not too happy that we are discussing this during his office hours....so...will have to bug him about this when he's home....hahahahaha....
To bully or not to bully...
Ironically, at work, I am the sort who can't be bullied....(am sure some of you who knows me well will be sniggering and nodding your head as you read this....)
Again.....the question is....what do I teach my child...to bully, or not to bully?????
Labels: Development, Discipline
posted by rach-mommy at 12:02 pm
2 Comments:
Tell Rachel not to just walked away but to tell her friend that her action is not appropriate. If her friend doesn't stop bullying her, Rachel should 'threatened' not to play with her again.
If that still doesn't work, then ask Rachel to push her friend twice if her friend push her once:)
hmmm... i have not talked to Kat about bullies before. But when she was in preschool, her teachers did work with her on standing her own ground and not let the other kids push her around. And that's how she is now.
So I agree that Rachel should tell the girl to stop and tell her that she won't play any more if it continues. or maybe she would tell a grownnup. But I disagree about pushing back :-) Don't want her to think revenge is a good thing, right?
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