her speech...

she has started calling me MOM instead of Mommy.....oh no, when did my 4-year old girl turned 10????!!!!

Also, this morning, I asked her what snack she wanted to take to school....this was what she answered me:

"Didn't you hear me yesterday when I told you what I wanted to take to school?"

OMG!!!! It was too early in the morning for me to tolerate that kind of attitude...and a good sounding she got...

Help me......

Rachel's favourite parent

She has proclaimed out loud that her favourite is daddy now....sob sob for mummy....but in a way, i am glad that they are really close, and with me being strict with her, I guess she does need to "trust" one of us enough to be chummy and not keep any secrets from.....(well, it was hubby who claims that that is important....to his convenience...bleh!!!!)

Anyhow......


They do look alike in some ways....

To bully or not to bully.....what to teach your child

Kids around Rachel's age start to develop their own attitudes, behaviour, wants, don't-wants, demeanor, etc.... At school, they start picking up good habits, bad habits and their speaking manner change accordingly as well... As hubby said...our worries only start the moment they are born... and will go on even after they are married with kids...

My dilemma today....

Rachel has this friend who lives in the same compound. She is of the same age. And they like playing together. However, this girl is a wee bit more rough compared to Rachel. She shouts and screams at people. Kicks up a fuss when she does not get what she wants, and she has even resorted to pushing people around, even the bigger kids in the compound.

Rachel so far will either whine or cry when she is bullied. And after a few notes from me, Rachel has resorted to walking away when her friend bullies her. Well, that was what I told her to do. I told Rachel that she does not have to do what she does not want to do. And at the same time, she can just walk away. However, I told Rachel that it's not nice to bully or scream or push people around....

This morning, when a group of us (minus her friend's mother) was hanging out while the kids play, Rachel's friend started pushing Rachel to the ground. Rachel just walked away. A mother of 2 girls came to me and suggested that I teach Rachel to push back.... I was pretty shocked... But then, what she said did make some sense. After all, we want Rachel to stand up for herself, if she is pushed around too much... Does it make sense??? But at the same time, our upbringing is such that we maintain humility and avoid trouble.....

I called hubby....obviously he is not too happy that we are discussing this during his office hours....so...will have to bug him about this when he's home....hahahahaha....

To bully or not to bully...

Ironically, at work, I am the sort who can't be bullied....(am sure some of you who knows me well will be sniggering and nodding your head as you read this....)

Again.....the question is....what do I teach my child...to bully, or not to bully?????

Sorry Mummy

I have learnt from my childhood that if we submit, and is regretful of our wrongdoings, parents or teachers are more forgiving. I did not learn that till when I was older….and I distinctively remember my brother and sister did not learn that until much older as well. It explains quite a lot of whacking and scolding and nagging and punishments…..hahahaha

Rachel, on the other hand, has learnt this “philosophy” early. In fact, she has learnt it too well. I noticed it over the weekend.

On Friday night, something happened (see, I have so much forgiven her, I even forgot what it was she did wrong!!!!) Anyway, I raised my voice a bit, and she started sobbing, and came to me, crying “I am sorry Mummy, I am sorry”…. She kept on apologizing, and when I asked whether she will do it again, she said “No mummy, I understand. I am sorry”…. And after lecturing for 2 minutes on the danger of her doing that wrong thing, I melted, and hugged her. We both hugged each other for so long….

Then, from Friday onwards, whenever she does something “slightly wrong” (which she realizes is wrong), and before I can tell her off, she will just quickly say “I am sorry Mummy”…… which of course, puts off the nagging or lecturing …..

This girl learns fast and early. Scarily manipulative, don’t you think? But she is ever so loving and adorable…..

******************************************

Also, my brother just pointed out something that I have to be thankful for as well. Rachel can play by herself, and occupy her own time, as long as we are within the same room, or within hearing distance. She can let me do my housework in peace. She is very understanding as well; when we tell her Daddy has to work, or when we have to keep quiet as Daddy is on an important phone call, she will just play quietly on her own.

This morning, when I left her at MIL’s place before school, she waved and said goodbye to me bravely. I could see that she wanted to sob, and her tears were welling up. But she was so brave, and just said “Bye bye Mummy”. It makes me miss her more during worktime…..

Definitely, we are very thankful for this great and understanding kid

dancing...singing....crying.....the diva!!!!

wailing and crying....
These days, R likes to wail with her mouth open wide whenever something does not make her happy.....and if I use the naughty corner threat, she will cry louder....so, now, I ignore her..... she knows that to get my attention, she has to stop crying.....

Rachel....wailing a bit....then trying to quieten down her sobs... she will say "mummy, i stop al-dy, stop al-dy....., i want mummy...... i stop crying al-dy...."


singing...
she loves singing, despite not having a knack to be melodious..... her current favourite song is "gong xi gong xi" (yup, she sings the whole song in mandarin!!!!!) and she makes up songs with whatever is happening.... like when she sees daddy washing the plate, she will make up a melody (well, it does seem like she's singing...) and sing... "daddy wash plate, wash plate...daddy wash plate" and if she sees me mopping the floor, she will sing "mummy mop floor, mummy mop mop floorrrrrrrr...."

dancing...
her favourite dancing song is jennifer lopez's Let's get loud.... and I think she is trying to imitate her kung kung and grandma's way of dancing.... it looks like quickstep to me....and she knows how to do the twirl!!!!! (holding my hand and turning underneath the arm)
When I just "simply" boogie, she will try to correct me and tell me "mummy, must dance pro-ply" (properly)

spoilt....how?!?!?!

my sis called a couple of days ago. We chatted. And naturally, the conversation steered to Rachel for a bit. I expressed some concerns I have about Rachel, and my sis said I am just being all stressed and worried unnecessary...... I know she's right.... but I can't help it....NATURALLY!!!!

What's my concern....well, Rachel is getting a wee bit too spoilt for my liking. Everyone who cares for her needs dotes on her and gives in to everything that she demands. And she knows it....and she "takes advantage" of it.....

I have resorted to punishing her.....with great aches in my heart..... I am just grateful that she still wants me to care for her though I am the only one who tries to discipline her.

Well, someone has to do the job......

Then, again, my sis may be right.....I am just being worried and stressed up unnecessary?!?!?! I should be thankful for how and what Rachel is today.

She is healthy.
She hugs me.
She loves me.
She knows how to call Mummy.
She knows how to call Daddy.
She plays like a 2 year old.
She adores both sides grandparents.
She responds well to other people.
She is spoilt......so?!?!?!??!

PLEEEEASE!!!

I have been trying to get Rachel to ask properly when she wants something. For e.g., saying PLEASE.....otherwise she will be going around demanding like a queen.

Rachel: I want VITAGEN!
Rachel: I want Barney!!!!!

Mummy: Rachel, ask properly. say PLEASE.

Rachel: Mummy, PLEASEEEEE....I want VITAGEN....

Today, when she was asking for vitagen, she said...."Mummy, PLEEEEASe, I want vitagen.."
I kept quiet.....
Trying again....she said..."Mummy, i want vitagen...PLEEEEEEEEASE...."
Again, I ignored her....
Then, she hold my face in both her hands and said..."Mummy, I PLEEEEEASE already!!!!!"
I had to give her a vitagen.

Mama...BUY!

I do not advocate a materialistic upbringing, which is quite apparent in most city kids' lives. I did promise myself (not strongly enough I must say) that I will TRY MY BEST to avoid bringing up a kid that way. So, before I had Rachel, I will tell hubby that we should not talk about $$$ or bargaining or "buying" in front of our children, and we should tell our parents not to do so as well.

Sad to say, I have sort of failed in this area. Rachel is so intuned with the power of "mama BUY!" "dada BUY!".......etc....... and she knows how to bargain as well.

Today, when I dropped her at MIL's place after school, she refused to let me go back to work. Instead, she was clawing and crying and making a big fuss. Then, I had to use the "materialistic" bargaining to leave in peace.

Me : Mummy go to work, ok? Mummy will buy vitagen for Rachel after that....
R : *still crying*....NO!!!!! wahhhhhhhh!!!!! mama no work!
Me : Mummy has to go to work....*repeatedly*
Then, after a lot of coer-cing...FINALLY....
R : Mummy go work work, buy Gen!

Then only did she reluctantly let me go. MIL warned me that since I have promised R vitagen after work, I better go buy the drink before I come pick her tonight...... talk about bargaining....

I am definitely NOT proud of myself!

Sentence that fits all purpose!

I am now encouraging Rachel to "speak properly".

Scene 1:
She wanted to come down from her high chair..
R : Down...down
Me : Tell mummy properly
R : I WANT TIS (this)...pointing to the floor

Scene 2:
She wanted to go swimming in her little pool
R : swim...swimm.... (waving her hands around)
Me : Ask mummy properly
R : I WANT TIS .....pointing to the little pool

Scene 3:
She wanted to open the fridge
R : mama.....open, open....(pointing at the fridge)
Me : Say it properly
R : I WANT TIS..... pointing to the fridge

Scene 4:
She did not want to wear pampers.
R : mama....no...no... (pointing at the pampers)
Me : Rachel, tell mummy properly
R : I NO TIS......pointing to her pampers
Me : .......and I throw my hands up, and roll my eyes.......

First time-out

Rachel started spitting out food at home yesterday night. For the first 2 times, I warned her, and just told her to stop doing it. Then, when she did it AGAIN for the 3rd time, I realised that it's time for her first major time-out.

We happened to be in my bathroom at that time, so the corner where the laundry basket sits, is now officially her "naughty corner". When I first put her in the corner, she did not cry. Then, I told her to start thinking of what she did, in a harsh tone. She started sobbing, and came to get a hug from me. I said no, and placed her back at the corner..... After a few seconds of sobbing (she must have remembered her Daddy as a possible salvation...)....Rachel RAN towards her Daddy...I tried to put her in the corner again....and started lecturing her.

It took me quite awhile to get my message through to Rachel about what's time-out, naughty corner, and punishment.......not a very successful first time-out...but hopefully she gets the idea that it exists!!!!!

Naughty!

The night before last, Rachel was playing with me before bed, and suddenly she bit my thigh! I scolded her and got giggles from her instead. Fuming, I refused to put her to bed. Instead, she ended up with Daddy putting her to bed, and sobbing for Mummy....

I managed to ignore her sobs and go to bed.

The next day, told her kung-kung about this, and the reply was...."don't ignore her too long lah....pitiful lah...." *me rolling eyes*